By Ol Santa
Snow Tunnels, What
are Snow Tunnels?
By Elmo D. Elf
You know, I've been reporting on all sorts of things happening up here at North Pole City and especially up at the Claus Complex located right at the North Pole. The thing I seem to get the most Personal Messages about are the physical layout of all Santa's facilities.
The question that seems to be asked the most is, "Snow Tunnels, What are Snow Tunnels?" I suppose that is a topic that needs a bit of an explanation. So when I asked Santa, "How come you have these Snow Tunnels? Are they necessary; when were they built and why was it deter-mined they were necessary?" This was the story I was told which I'm simply passing on to you.
The idea for having Snow Tunnels was conceived long before I came on the scene. I've been told it was back in the 1600's when the first tunnel was dug and it was work done by several dozen Elves and Santa himself. You see, at that time the Elves lived in Santa's house with the Claus' and always had trouble getting through the very deep snow when going out to or from work every day in the Toy Shoppe.
Like all Santa's, that one was pretty crafty too, so one morning right after Christmas deliveries had been made, he said at the breakfast table just as the Elves were finishing their oatmeal, toast and hot chocolate, "Where are Sid, Alex, Dudley, Milo and Gus this morning?" and Mrs. Claus answered, "Well Santa, they're still up in their beds with terrible colds and high fevers. They won't be able to work today, no sir-ee."
That's when Santa stood up and said, "Okay men, today we're going to build that tunnel we've been talking about. It stands to reason that if we don't have to go out in the cold, damp, snowy air, we can cut way back on the number of colds we have year-round. I'll go get the shovels from the basement; you guys finish up and I'll meet you at the back door in five minutes." Well, the Elves finished their oats, toast and hot chocolate. Then they put on their big ol' warm coats, their boots (with turned up toes) and mittens and waited by the back door until Santa arrived. Then, they all went out together.
Now I don't believe I need to mention anything about the snow up at the North Pole. Why it's everywhere...and it's deep too. In fact, the famous Pole (yes, there is a Pole) at the North Pole. It was installed in a hole that had been drilled down into the ice after it had been painted with a broad red stripe from top to bottom. Each time that red stripe comes around it drops down 1'-0". So each morning when Santa first gets out of bed, he puts on his house shoes and robe, pushes back the curtains and looks out of his bedroom window. He knows that if he counts the number of times that red stripe comes around that pole from it's very top; he can subtract that number from 60'-0" (which is the length of the pole sticking up out of it's hole) and he will know exactly how deep the snow is that morning! He'll tell you that it's usually in the 25'-0 to 30'0 depth most of the time.
Santa and the Elves all went out of the back door of the house from Mrs. Clause' kitchen. The snow was well over Santa's head even before they went down the steps that reached the cold, deep blue colored ice on which everything up at the North Pole sits. Santa had talked with Rufus, who at that time was the keeper of the reindeer and who did the same kind of job that Ike the Elf does today. Santa had him hitch-up the eight reindeer to the sleigh and take half the Elves to the Toy Shoppe with their shovels and they all began digging the snow toward one another. First down to the ice and then under the snow toward the others. As they shoveled, they put the snow into the back of the sleigh.
Whenever the sleigh was full, Rufus would climb up and he'd haul the snow away, while the Elves at that end would catch their breath while leaning on their shovels. Rufus would fly up in the air with the sleigh being pulled by the reindeer and turn sharply and the snow would fall out with the remainder being blown out by the wind. Then he'd go to the other hole being dug and the Elves at that end would fill the sleigh up again with snow again and Ike would repeat the process.
Well it was fairly easy digging and the process was repeated over and over again until about 12:00 noon when Mrs. Claus opened the back door of her kitchen and hollered down into the hole of the tunnel, "Lunch is ready". Santa hollered back, "We'll be finished in about 15 or 20 minutes and we'll all come in then because we'll be all done. Now, I don't know this to be a fact but Santa said that Mrs. Claus is reported to have said under her breath, but loud enough to hear, "Well, Glory be!"
Now, it's not known just how many tons of snow were removed from that first tunnel. But having been in that very tunnel, I can tell you that it's 8'-0" high 10'-0" wide and about 50 yards long. Further more, you must remember that only about 15 Elves digging from both ends did it in slightly over 4 1/2 hours! Now that's a pretty good indicator of just how hard these Elves can work. Don't you all wish that the building of tunnels, roads and highways where you are in this day and age could get done as quickly, as well constructed and without all the expensive mechanical equipment. Maybe you just need to get a few Elves involved!
Having toured the entire Claus Complex, and passing through the tunnels to the Toy Shop, the Reindeer Barn, the Elves Dormitory, the Communications Center, the Printing Plant and the 28 Finished Goods Storage Facilities, the Sleigh Hangar and the Staging Area, it's taken an awful lot of effort to get all the tunnels dug. Santa tells me that there are almost ten miles of tunnels today at the Claus Complex.
Now I'm sure you're wondering, "Has the installation of all those tunnels reduced the number of colds experienced each year by the Elves?" The answer is a resounding "yes!" What's even more astounding is that winter colds are a 12 month a year situation at the North Pole; there's no need for the Elves to wear heavy coats to and from work or to fear being lost in a driving snow storm! But did you notice that in the long list of facilities located up here at the Claus Complex here at the North Pole which are all connected with the Snow Tunnels, there's no mention of an infirmity or hospital?
By Santa Bob of Tulsa
Santa needs fresh new Elves to train
Just a Picture of me with the Santa Belt