Jump to content
Carlo Klemm

Santa and the space-time continuum

Recommended Posts

Carlo Klemm

Santa and the space-time continuum

July 21, 2009 (from Mar 31 rewrite)

by Robert Muir

The Globe and Mail

Excerpt:

Ever wondered how Santa Claus can travel around the world in just one night on his reindeer-pulled sleigh and deliver toys to all the children?

"He exploits the space-time continuum," says Larry Silverberg, a professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering at North Carolina State University.

....

Dr. Silverberg said his research has established that Santa does not, as commonly thought, carry enough presents for each child in his sleigh. "How could he?" Dr. Silverberg asked.

"We believe that he uses nanotechnology to grow the presents under the tree and really, what he's done, is he's figured out how to turn what we call irreversible thermo-dynamic properties into reversible ones and so he really starts with soot, candy, other types of natural materials, he puts them under the tree and he actually grows them in a reverse process to create the presents, wrapping and all."

And then there's the age-old question that Santa has to address every year - who's been naughty and who's been nice?

....

His reindeer, says Dr. Silverberg, are genetically bred to fly, balance on rooftops and see in the dark.

SOURCE:

Edited by Santa Edson

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4-State Santa

Here's another theory on Santa's ability to travel the world in one night:

The sleigh uses various sources including plutonium to generate the needed 1.21 "jiggawatts" to power the critical component, the flux capacitor. Santa sits inside the sleigh and turns on the time circuits, activating an LED display which shows the destination, present, and last-departed dates and times. After entering a target date, the reindeer accelerate the sleigh to 88 miles per hour (142 km/h) which activates the flux capacitor. As it accelerates, several rails around the body of the sleigh glow blue and a wormhole generator on top of the sleigh makes a wormhole in front of the sleigh. Surrounded by large sparks, the whole sleigh vanishes in a flash of blue light seconds later, leaving twin trails of fire. Observers outside the sleigh see an implosion of gas as the sleigh disappears, while Santa within the sleigh sees a quick flash of light and instantaneously arrives at the target time in the spatial location as determined by Santa's calculations. Immediately preceding the sleigh's arrival, three large and loud flashes issue forth from the point from which the sleigh emerges from its time travel. After the trip, the sleigh is extremely cold, and frost forms from atmospheric moisture all over the sleigh's body.

...Or maybe I'm thinking of a DeLorean... ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Santa Johnny Boy

Santa Dave,

Great explanation to an old mystery!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Donations

    All donations go directly towards the cost of hosting and running ClausNet!

    Your support, through donations or simply by clicking on sponsor links, is greatly appreciated!

    Donate Sidebar by DevFuse
  • Our picks

    • Every Once in A While
      Every once in a while I see some flagrant abuses of Santa’s appearance and etiquette. It strikes me some men don’t care about how they act or portray the beloved character of Santa.

      Gentlemen, you undertake an awesome responsibility when you button up your Santa Suit. Don’t take it lighty!

      The “World” has an image of Santa as represented by illustrations, traditions and personal contact. Believe it or not, you’re being measured by those who see you for your authenticity.

      You’re fooling yourself if you believe that no one notices or cares if your bead is yellow or unkempt. Maybe you’re also missing a few of those pearly whites, or they are stained from tobacco products. Again, don’t fool yourself….kids notice everything! I have a gold crown capping one of my lower teeth. Every once in a while, I have an inquisitive youngster question what that gold thing is in my mouth. Years ago I thought it was well hidden however; kids have uncanny radar to pick out any of our flaws….

      You may be asking yourself, “What difference does it make? “It’s not the Christmas Season.” Maybe it isn’t however, If you’re representing Santa, you’re representing one of the most recognizable characters in the world. What you do reflects upon me and every Santa reader of this article. If you’re going to be recognized then do justice to the character we are reenacting.

      Over the years I have been a Santa, I have frequently been by told by people about the Santa they hired or saw which left a very poor expression. Most of their comments were predictable. Their Santa did not interact with the children as expected or he was unprepared. He was unanimated, had a dirty suit or lack luster beard. Obviously these are sure fire ways never to be called to this group again.

      Think about what impression you make as a Santa and pay attention to developing your character. You can become one of the best Santas in your area by learning everything about your character and performing from the heart.

      Always remember: It's not about you. It's about the children.

      Santa Lou Knezevich is the creator of the Legendary Santas Mentoring Program
      Contact Santa Lou at: LegendarySantasMentoringProg@gmail.com
        • Love
        • Like
      • 0 replies
    • If You Have the Post Christmas Blues You’re Doing Christmas Wrong
      The post-Christmas blues are a very real thing. Once the date of December 25th has passed the specter of December 26th is an ominous marker to many. It sits there on the calendar like the Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come. Silent and foreboding, the very image of the hooded Angel of Death it seems to be. And why not?

      Just about anywhere you look Americans are tossing trees to the curb, ripping down lights from rooftops and radio stations are flipping back to everyday music. What took months to build gets deconstructed in a matter of a couple of days.
        • Like
      • 26 replies
    • Auld Lang Syne
      Every New Year’s Eve at the stroke of midnight, millions around the world traditionally gather together to sing the same song, “Auld Lang Syne”. As revilers mumble though the song’s versus, it often brings many of them to tears – regardless of the fact that most don’t know or even understand the lyrics. Confusion over the song’s lyrics is almost as much of a tradition as the song itself. Of course that rarely stops anyone from joining in.
        • Wow
        • Like
      • 3 replies
    • Merry Christmas, My Friend
      Every year around this time, some variation of this poem is circulated online. The poem is generally credited to “a soldier stationed in Okinawa” or more recently since September 11, 2001, “a Marine stationed in Afghanistan”.

      However, the poem’s true author is Lance Corporal James M. Schmidt.

      Originally entitled, “Merry Christmas, My Friend”, Corporal Schmidt wrote the poem in 1986 while serving as Battalion Counter Sniper at the Marine Barracks 8th & I, in Washington, D.C.

      That day the poem was placed in the Marine Corps Gazette and distributed worldwide. Schmidt’s poem was later published in Leatherneck (Magazine of the Marines) in December 1991.
        • Sad
        • Love
        • Like
      • 1 reply
    • Is it time to start calling out Bad Santas?
      Is it time to start calling out Bad Santas?

      Do you think we should start calling out those in our community whose actions or behavior is unbecoming of Santa Claus or Mrs. Claus?
        • Wow
        • Like
      • 94 replies
About | Forums | Blogs | Newsletter | Contact


© 2019 MJR Group. LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright IP Policy

Proud affiliate of My Merry Christmas!

Subscribe to the ClausNet Gazette

Enter your email address to subscribe to our monthly newsletter.

About ClausNet

The ClausNet community is the largest social network and online resource for Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, Elves, Reindeer Handlers, and Santa helpers for the purposes of sharing stories, advice, news, and information.
×
×
  • Create New...